need another drink. this is the easiest way
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
