Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize