office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
