Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
