If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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