How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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