is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Two words: blizzard sex
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
