hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
