sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
