It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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