Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
