Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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