Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
