wake up i wanna do it froggy style
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
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my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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