your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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