There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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