You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
