i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
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and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
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I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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