my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
