I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Duck Duck Cougar?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
