are you still at the devil's house?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
