there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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