I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
