Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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