Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
