Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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