what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I stole a fireplace last night.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
