So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Drake has all the answers
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
