At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
