You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
