Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
