I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
