my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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