my mouth tastes like poor choices
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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