he shaved USA in his pubs
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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