Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Vodka?
Forever.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
pray to the hookup gods
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
