I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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