he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
