she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I smell stomach acid.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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