i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
