He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
