Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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