I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
