I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
