Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Holy sore nipples Batman
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
These tits shall not be calmed
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
