I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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