I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
