i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize