Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
