It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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