I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
