Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
