New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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