woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Its about making memories worth repressing
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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