So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize