You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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