he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
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