Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
