Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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