Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
