is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
