Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
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i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
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its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
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