YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
My penis needs a shock collar
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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