Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
