Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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