I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
